It is human nature to want the best for yourself. You want to be happy. You want peace of mind. You want to live a comfortable life.
How do we get these things by helping others? This is the paradox of The Rule of Divinity. The Rule of Divinity states that everything is one and one is the greatest power.
Since everything (and everyone) is one, what you do for others you do for yourself. By helping others become happy, loved, and at peace, you are contributing to the greater you, the one great power, God.
The paradox works both ways: By helping yourself, you help others; by helping others, you help yourself.
So continue to help others while helping yourself. Working on the two together will help yourself and the world around you to become better.
Scientists say that we use between 1% and 10% of our brain capacity. The fact that they don’t know how much of our brains that we use is proof of how little we actually use.
With so with so little brain power, how can we really know God? The Bible says that God created man in His own image. But the truth is that man created God in his own image: A fatherly figure with free will.
But for us to truly understand God is like asking a two-dimensional stick figure drawing to understand our three-dimensional world. God exists in another dimensional that we cannot fathom.
But we do know certain facts: God has always existed and was at one time the only thing that existed. If at one time God was all that existed then anything created by God was created of God; meaning nothing can be created from nothing, it has to be created from something and that something is God.
Therefore everything that was created is a part of God. We are part of God. This is the Rule of Divinity—everything is one; we are one with God. This is analogous to us being a drop of water and God being the ocean—the two are inseparable.
God is not a separate entity from us, but rather we are a part of God. The second part of the Rule of Divinity states that one is the greatest power. Together we are one with God and thus we are part of the greatest power.
Do not wish on the willy-nilly desires of some outer being to answer your prayers. God and the power of God are inside you. When your prayers are not answered it is because we are not in tuned to this greater power. But acknowledging that you have this great power will give you great confidence and strength.
The Coherent Life is not about living a self-centered existence.
The Rule of Divinity states that everything is one and that one is the greatest power. That means you are one with all others. When you think only of yourself, you are begrudging the greater you and hurting yourself in the long run.
The German writer Friedrich von Schiller writes, "The brave man thinks upon himself the last."
If you want to have an enlightened life mindful of the great power that resides inside you, then must recognize and acknowledge that other people are also a part of this power. As the old saying goes, "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face." What this means is don't be self-destructive by over-reacting to a problem.
When we express anger, contempt, or hatred towards others, we are hurting ourselves as well. On the surface we only hurt ourselves by having these negative emotions dwell within us; oftentimes these emotions seethe inside us and those who they're directed at never know of our emotions towards them so they are not hurt by them. On a larger scale though, these negative emotions hurt our bigger self which includes others.
To live a Coherent Life, think of others. By being good to others, helping them, and being kind to them is helping yourself as well. When you are mindful and in-tune to this fact, you, too will be living a happy, peaceful life.
You can end your sadness, misery, pain, and suffering. You can lead a life full of happiness and joy.
The first step is to realize that have the inherent power to be happy no matter what the circumstances or situation. No matter what your financial situation, no matter your relationship status, no matter if the world is falling apart around you. You can rise above everything to be happy every moment of every day.
Next stop looking for happiness outside yourself. Happiness is not found in outside pleasures such as sex, material goods, money, drugs, alcohol, or food. Such external pleasure is dependent and fleeting. The only place that you’ll find happiness is within you. True happiness is internal and independent.
To generate happiness from within first remember a time when you were happy. Relive that feeling of happiness, focus on it for at least two minutes. Generating this feeling of happiness every day will build and strengthen your happiness muscle. Focus on the feeling of happiness generated from within two times a day.
Happiness is important for living a Coherent Life. As often as possible, get around others living the Coherent Life. Shy away from negative, unhappy friends and family unless it is to share the Coherent Life with them and teach them how to achieve happiness in their own lives.
Remember, happiness is like a muscle and it needs to be exercised every day. The more you exercise it, the stronger your happiness will be.
How can I be so confident that I know that I can handle anything that comes my way? How can I be so self-assured that I know that I can effectively deal with any problem, conflict, or obstacle?
The answer is Internalized Assurance, one of six values of The Coherent Life. Along with the other five values, I have overcome pain and suffering. I have totally transformed my life in an instant when I realized that I had the power of “The Rule of Divinity” inside me.
Modern psychology will tell you that there are four attributions of perceive control: Internal, External, Controllable, and Uncontrollable. These four attributes form a matrix with location of control (Internal or External) on the x axis and controllability (Controllable or Uncontrollable) on the y axis. Thus there are four possible perceptions of control: Internal-Controllable, Internal-Uncontrollable, External-Controllable, and External-Uncontrollable. According to this psychological theory, people who perceive control as being External-Uncontrollable feel that they can’t control events in their lives and attribute the cause as luck, other people, karma, etc. On the other hand, people who perceive control as being Internal-Controllable feel that they have complete control of their lives.
But psychological theory doesn’t help us. It is enlightened knowledge that guides us through life and allows us to stop suffering and realize our desires. “The Rule of Divinity” is everything is one and one is the greatest power. You are part of everything thus you have the greatest power. You have the power to end your unhappiness, pain, sickness, and troubles. You have the power to live the life of your heart’s desires.
Once you have internalized this fact, you will be able to mold your life and manipulate the outcomes that you desire in life. No longer will you be a pawn in the game of life, rather you will be the grand master chess champion—unbeatable!
Want to have an indestructible love? All of us crave love; it is part of the human condition. We want to be cared for, liked, and made to feel special.
We seek love and approval from others outside us. We try to make ourselves attractive so that others are drawn to us. We try to wow people with our words and clever pick up lines; “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
Maybe your pick up lines work and you are able to make someone fall in love with you. Your love grows stronger but there are fights, as there are in any relationship. Feelings are hurt, maybe enough to make you fall out of love. Then again you are without love in your life.
But what if you could have an indissoluble love, a love that would withstand the sands of time, a love that never let you down?
Such a love is possible through the Rule of Divinity. The Rule of Divinity states that everything is one and that one is the greatest power. This means that you are one with everything and you have the greatest power.
You are GOD—Good, Omniscient, and Divine. You are the greatest love that there is. You don’t need outside valuation. You don’t need someone else to give you love because you have all the love in the world inside you.
All of us want to feel worthy, that we are valued for who we are. We want to be feel valued and appreciated by our families, our loved ones, our employers, our friends. No one wants to be thought of as worthless or unvalued.
Self-Regard is the Emotional Intelligence skill of respecting and accepting yourself as basically a good person. No matter what others may think or say about you, you know that you’re a good person. You know that you have invaluable strengths and talents. And even though you have your flaws (who doesn’t?!), you accept them as being a part of the unique person that you are.
We often sit in judgment of ourselves as judge and jury. We are often our own worst critics and punish ourselves with harsh verdicts. We tell ourselves that we are “Stupid,” “Clumsy,” or “Fat.” We tell ourselves things that we would never dare tell another person.
This is our self-esteem, or “self-estimate” of our value.
Maybe we have a good rationale for our verdict. We “know” that we’re fat because we don’t look like the models in the glossy magazines. We “know” that we’re stupid because we make mistakes and, as we learned in school, mistakes are bad.
But the truth is our rationale is often faulty. We base our judgments of ourselves on outside morals or messages that are outdated or manipulative. For example, the moral that it’s bad to make mistakes is completely wrong. By making mistakes we learn from experience. Learning by doing is the most potent way to remember how to do something.
The message that we should be runway model skinny is perpetuated by companies that want to sell us designer clothes and diet pills. True, there is a healthy weight that we could attain by eating healthy foods in moderate amounts, but the healthy ideal is hardly portrayed in the media.
What happens when we pass these judgments on ourselves is that we become that verdict. If we tell ourselves that we’re fat, then we become depressed and eat more. When we tell ourselves that we’re stupid, then we become anxious and nervous so that we are less attentive to the task at hand and thus more mistake-prone. This is called “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.” What we prophesize or predict (“I’m fat and always will be”) comes true.
In Buddhism there is a saying: “There are not two lands, pure or impure in themselves. The difference lies solely in the good or evil of our minds.” Shakespeare said it another way in Hamlet: “for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” In other words, we are not inherently good or bad, fat or stupid—it is our minds that make it so.
Our thinking, our judgment of ourselves is a habit. Maybe this habit was influenced by the habits of our parents or teachers who instilled certain morals in us. Maybe, as mentioned before, our habits were influenced by the media who wants us to feel bad about ourselves so that we’ll buy their products so that we’ll feel good.
To change these habitual judgments of ourselves we must first become aware of our thinking. Our thinking has become so ingrained that we no longer hear what we are telling ourselves. Tune in to yourself; listen carefully to what you are telling yourself. This simple exercise of awareness will help you to change your thinking.
Next you must see how irrational and faulty your thinking is. Use the ABCDE Process (explained here) to defeat your defective judgments and replace them with effective, positive beliefs.
By developing a habit of judging yourself rationally and positively you will build your Self-Regard and self-esteem. You will begin to feel better about yourself and thus you will become a better, more capable person. It all starts with how you think about yourself.
To change your self-esteem of yourself, remember these points:
Being an introvert can be stigmatizing, especially in the United States, home of the loud and talkative (think Donald Trump). Introverts are a minority, making up only 30 percent of the population. But there are many benefits to introversion.
I, myself am an introvert. I prefer being alone with my thoughts. I enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, watching a movie, or hiking in the woods. I also have my extroverted side and enjoy being the center of attention while telling a story or joke.
The fact is that most of us are not permanently fixed on one end or the other of the introverted-extroverted spectrum. Our personality changes with the situation and the particular people that we are with. For the most part I prefer to sit and listen when I’m in a group of people, but when I have an attentive, captive audience I blossom and become a ham.
Introversion is not to be confused with shyness. Shyness is the feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness in social situations. It is a form of anxiety that inhibits behavior and causes people to actively avoid social situations.
I was shy when I was in high school because I lacked the necessary social and interpersonal skills. I sat in the back of the classroom and avoided talking to people. I avoided the cafeteria and instead ate my lunch alone at the desolated football field.
I overcame my shyness by learning the needed skills and by becoming aware that it was ok to be quiet and introverted. I found that I inherently already possessed one of the most important communication skills: Listening.
Being an introvert has many other advantages such being more cautious (extroverts are more likely to be hospitalized as a result of injuries), having more stable and intimate relationships, and being better at coming up with new ideas and mastering new skills.
While introverts make up only 30 percent of the population, they make up 40 percent of high-powered U.S. businesspeople. Abilities such as assessing risks, listening, and attention to details are essential leadership qualities. Famous introverted business leaders include Bill Gates, Charles Schwab, Larry Page, and Warren Buffett.
The introverted qualities of empathy, introspection, and independence also make great moral leaders. Both Mohandas Gandhi and Mother Teresa were introverts, but that didn’t stop them from leading great social causes.
Our introverted or extroverted temperament is mostly inborn. A 1989 study by Harvard developmental psychologist Jerome Kagan found that about 20 percent of four-month-old babies reacted intensely to new experiences such as popping balloons, colorful mobiles, and the smell of alcohol on a cotton swab. These “high-reactive” infants grew up to be introverted adolescents.
It seems that people who are born introverted have a lower threshold for stimulation. Overstimulation such as crowds and popping balloons can cause an introvert to compensate by taking a low profile. On the other hand, extroverts are like addicts in search of a high, seeking out the stimulation of social interactions.
But no matter your natural inclination, you can adapt to the situation. Adaptation is one of the hallmarks of human existence and what has made us so successful at survival. Even if you are born introverted, you can be assertive, gregarious, and sociable when the need arises. Look at introverted politicians such as Hillary Clinton and India’s Prime Minister Manmohan Singh; they are diplomatic and social when they have to be.
Learn necessary for success Emotional Intelligence skills such as Assertiveness, which will help you find your voice and let others know what you think and feel. Conversational skills will help you to get people to talk about their favorite subject, themselves. Don’t fear lulls in the conversation, enjoy the quietness that your introverted side requires.
One of the most important Emotional Intelligence skills is Self-Regard, how you feel about yourself. Accept your natural introversion and don’t apologize for it. Celebrate who you are and don’t worry about what others think. Just be the best you that you can be.
We live in a busy, noisy world. On a daily basis we are exposed to many sights, sounds, and smells, too. There’re the sounds of cars, planes, TVs, and radios. The LED lights that constantly shine from our computers, TVs, and power strips have been cited as reasons why people can’t get a good night’s sleep (LED lights suppress the brain's night time production of Melatonin which is needed to regulate our biological clocks).
Oftentimes we will initiate the noise of the TV or radio to mask others noises in our environment or the “noises” of our anxious minds, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of an inescapable noisy world.
How do we find peace of mind in this raucous world? How do we shut out the noise so that we can think and hear our own minds?
I began meditating 40 years ago as a teenager back in the 1970s. I learned Transcendental Meditation (TM), made famous to the hippy world by The Beatles. TM involves sitting in a quiet room while mentally repeating a mantra, a meaningless word that helps you stay focused while you clear your mind.
The problem I had with TM is that it requires a quiet place. I would put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on my bedroom door, and people would do their best to be quiet and tiptoe around my routine. But invariably there would be some noise that disturbed this quietness.
I have found “mindfulness” to be more effective. Mindfulness, which has its origins in Buddhist meditation, is the act of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. With your eyes closed you pay attention to your breathing and the world around you. You are aware of sounds but you do not judge them as “disturbing.”
In mindfulness you are striving to live in the present moment, “the now.” As such, you are not worrying about what might happen in the future. You are not reliving and regretting past mistakes. The only thing that matters is what is happening at that very second in time.
Presumably you are sitting in a safe environment so you have no present worries. Naturally your mind will wander and that’s ok. Gently release your thoughts and bring yourself back to the present moment. Hear what there is to hear, be it cars out on the street, a plane overhead, or the TV in the next room. Do not judge the sound (“It’s so noisy!”), only be aware that it is there.
By not judging we let go of our stress. Instead of seeing the world from our own standards, our own set of rules, we become part of the world. We are like alien observers who simply record what they see and hear before trying to interpret any meaning. We are like a video camera that hears and sees, but does not judge.
When I first started trying to live in the “now,” I would do so for seconds at a time. I would mentally count the seconds until my mind wandered from the present moment into the past or future. Seventeen seconds of mindfulness became my goal.
Now I just do it for however long I can several times throughout the day. Usually I do it with my eyes open, preferring to look at the green lushness of a tree out my window. I am aware of my surroundings, the sights and sounds, but I do not judge what I hear or see.
I still do mantra meditation, although it is more a hybrid of mindfulness and meditation. Instead of doing it for 15 or twenty minutes, I do it for just a few minutes. I often do it while travelling; while in an airport or on a plane—it helps pass the time.
Another way I find peace in my life is by using the “Fire Balls” technique. This technique involves imagining a small ball of fire in the palm of your hand. It is like a little sun in which you are in control of. My fire ball for peace is colored green. While focusing on this green ball of fire, I feel the emotion of peace inside me. I feel the calmness and tranquility.
This technique is based on the Law of Attraction and helps to bring peace into your life. It is an effective technique for whatever feelings you want to attract into your life: Peace, energy, love, happiness, prosperity, etc.
I encourage you to try the above-mentioned techniques of meditation, mindfulness, and “fire balls” to find some quiet peace in your life. The health benefits, both physical and mental, have been scientifically proven. But most of all, you will feel the proof in your own tranquility.